Why is it so hard to make myself a priority in my life? I do everything else first. Rustin's schedule or lack of schedule really, makes my mornings so chaotic. I spend my mornings helping him in the office and waiting for him to leave for work. Then I'm running late so we just start with school. I HAVE to figure this out. I have to make time for myself. I need to get into a routine and stick with it. I'm not going to make any progress if I keep this up.
Have to keep reminding myself that I'll be hangin' out on the beach with all my old pals in just 5 months!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Gah
So much going on in life...I hate it because I put my workouts off. I stay up late getting things done then ditch the workouts in the mornings. So, in the morning, I'm getting back to my routine. Must be done.
I started tracking my weight weekly. Here are the stats so far.
1/28 - 194.5
2/5 - 190.8
2/12 - 191.8
I'm a little nervous about this week because like I said, I haven't been working out. My eating hasn't been horrible, but I haven't been counting calories either. But I'm getting my butt in gear. I'm keeping the goal in mind and reminding myself that I don't wanna be the "fat friend" at the beach in July!
I started tracking my weight weekly. Here are the stats so far.
1/28 - 194.5
2/5 - 190.8
2/12 - 191.8
I'm a little nervous about this week because like I said, I haven't been working out. My eating hasn't been horrible, but I haven't been counting calories either. But I'm getting my butt in gear. I'm keeping the goal in mind and reminding myself that I don't wanna be the "fat friend" at the beach in July!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Starting Stats...
This is terrifying...putting myself out here publicly like this. No one is reading this blog right now, but someone might someday. Yikes!
As of February 1, 2011, I weighed 194.5, wearing a size 16 pants. Ugh. I need to take some measurements also. Here are some before pictures. These were taken this past fall.
As of February 1, 2011, I weighed 194.5, wearing a size 16 pants. Ugh. I need to take some measurements also. Here are some before pictures. These were taken this past fall.
And, just for fun, some pictures of the skinny me. These were all taken sometime after my 1st baby but before my 2nd. Wish I would have appreciated my body more then. 
So this is the beginning...Away I Go!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The motivation....
So, the right answer here is that my motivation to lose weight is to get healthy for myself, my kids...blah.blah.blah. Yes, I do want to be healthy and live a long, active life. But that hasn't been working for the last 9 years apparently, so...right now my motivation is this: A trip to California with all my best girl friends from high school. It's all planned out. The date has been set and we're all planning to be there. There were 5 of us that hung out together way back when. I've seen each of them since then, but we've not all been together at once. It's probably been close to 15 years. We're a mixed bag now. Family, religion, jobs, where we live, our hobbies...they all differ a little now. But guess what? I'm the only fat one! And I refuse to stay that way. In about 5 months we'll be gracing the sunny beaches of California and I do not want to look like a beached whale and I certainly don't want to be the "fat friend". So...vain as it may be, that's my motivation right now. I've got five months to lose 45 pounds. I believe it's a realistic goal if I get my butt to work! So, AWAY I GO! Wish me luck! :)
The Struggle...
I can't remember a time in my life that I've ever been "satisfied" with my body. I wasn't ever overweight until I started having kids, but still wasn't content with how I looked. Looking back now, I wish I had appreciated my body more then.
I never had a healthy view of food, fitness or overall wellness growing up. It wasn't until my I was 21 and in my 2nd marriage, with an eating disorder and drug and alcohol abuse in my past, that I started to care about not just my physical appearance, but also how I was treating my inner self. What was I doing to my health? Would I be around to see my children grow and know my grandchildren? I started to care.
I learned about real, whole, live foods. I learned about sugar, soda, alcohol and the effects they had on the body. I learned about exercise and how important it was. I started to care...just not quite enough. Over the last 9 years of marriage, 3 babies, 1 miscarriage, lots of happys, and lots of sads I've managed to put on almost 70 pounds. It's hard to even type that. Makes me sick.
So, now I'm on a journey...not just a journey of looking HOT, but a journey of learning about me. Learning the whys, the hows and all the rest of it. I'm off to an OK start...but I have a long way to go. So, AWAY I GO!!
I never had a healthy view of food, fitness or overall wellness growing up. It wasn't until my I was 21 and in my 2nd marriage, with an eating disorder and drug and alcohol abuse in my past, that I started to care about not just my physical appearance, but also how I was treating my inner self. What was I doing to my health? Would I be around to see my children grow and know my grandchildren? I started to care.
I learned about real, whole, live foods. I learned about sugar, soda, alcohol and the effects they had on the body. I learned about exercise and how important it was. I started to care...just not quite enough. Over the last 9 years of marriage, 3 babies, 1 miscarriage, lots of happys, and lots of sads I've managed to put on almost 70 pounds. It's hard to even type that. Makes me sick.
So, now I'm on a journey...not just a journey of looking HOT, but a journey of learning about me. Learning the whys, the hows and all the rest of it. I'm off to an OK start...but I have a long way to go. So, AWAY I GO!!
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