OK, so the last few weeks have been torture. I've failed miserably at even attempting to lose any weight. This is my pattern and has been for years... Do great for a little while, lose a little weight, fall off the wagon and gain it all back...plus more, repeat. It's very frustrating. I feel like such a failure. It's annoying. But I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep going. I have to much life to live, to live it fat. I have too much to look forward to. Plus, I'm 30...it's just the beginning, right!?
So, here's the plan. Tomorrow I'm starting P90X. I've had friends and relatives do this program and I know that it is killer. I also know that if I do it faithfully I can make some serious changes to my body. That is what I'm looking for after all.
I've also realized a couple things that last couple weeks. I am more of an emotional eater than I realized. I knew I relied on food when I shouldn't but I shocked myself when Rustin started working out of town. I was surprised to see myself filling the the void he left with food. I found myself eating in the evenings out of boredom, sadness, and stress! I couldn't believe how much and how horrible I was eating. And I also realized, if I am going to be successful, I need help. I need people who will push me and motivate me to keep going. I need to find people who want me to succeed and will hold me accountable. I suppose at some point I need to tell some one or more than one some one about this blog and what I'm trying to do, so I can get some support! I'm a little scared to do that. It's one thing to write it out myself, but to know people are reading is another! :)
So...I'll be working on these things and hitting this new program hard. Wish me luck. Oh wait...no one knows what I'm doing! :)-
No comments:
Post a Comment